the good old times.

Im leaving, but im looking back...

I shud be sleeping now since need to go airport tomorrow.
but oh wells. cant sleep.
had a very interesting chat with the 3 boys.
i miss the good old times.
when i wud be chatting otf with zul.
and den aliyy wud be busy making stoopeed noises.
till one nite i literally chatted with aliyy for around 1hour.

i miss the nites where i would get late night calls with someone i love.
talked otf like there's no tomorrow.
looking by the window, having to see his shadows.
laughing when the police came.
i miss having his name appearing on my caller id or whenever i receive a sms.
i miss having "anonymous" on my caller id cos that wud be him calling frm the auntie's hs.
i miss hearing him say "sayang sayang sayang" to me otf.
i miss having him called me just to say he misses me.
i miss having him called me still even after we broke up.
i miss having him staring at me with his 2 big eyes. especially when he feels guilty.
i miss having his warmth around me.
i miss having his lips against mine.
i miss those moments at the staircase everytime we meet.
i miss reading his smses when i wake up and when im going to sleep.
i miss having to sms him good nite msges and waking him up.
i miss having him waking me up whenever we have a date. waking up to his voice, makes me smile always.
i miss soo many things about him.
i even miss crying about him...

i simply miss saying zulhilmi bin nordin is my boyfie like i used to say.
i love saying his full name everytime i say i love my boyfie.
i miss those times.
i really do.

sometimes, i wonder.
how did we end up being where we are today?
we were so strong, we were almost perfect.
but yet, we crumbled down like everyone else.
the only difference, we could not save our relationship like everyone else could.
cos we were so almost-perfect, whenever a big blow happens, it came too big.
too painful. too hurtful.
sometimes, i wonder.
what could i do to make it all perfect again?
but then, ill cry...
cos i realise, there's nothing i can do. to make it all perfect again.