when will this ever stop?

Today...kinda started perfectly fine. after school was ultimately bad.
went over to PP to KFC where the babes were. i was with nadiah cos our school ends at 1.50pm not 1pm anymore.
i thought things wud be fine...since i had a blast sms-ing random people during lessons. laughing away with my kentalos.
i was at the door. was about to open it..when i saw one name that shocked me...guy K's name. i stared blankly for like a few seconds and realised it was really really guy K. nadiah didnt noe who he was so she just budged in and i had to follow her. went to the counter..told them guy K was there. they wanted to sit somewhere at his area and i told them not to...

my whole body was shaking. was eating..but my heart felt really heavy. when aisyah held my hand and hugged me i cudnt bottle it all up anymore. i broke down... i didnt know how to react. he was there. right in front of me. that guy who crushed my heart. who once brought smiles to my face. but noww...all he ever did is to make me cry ... i emo-ed through out.

had drama. was damn pissed with the juniors. they just had to worsen my mood. after drama was a blast. had fun with my eighters. we played a fool. screamed and do all type of crap at the bus stop...
as soon as i got down at tanah merah. the mood went down. MRT-ed to simei...i felt even more down. otw home i almost felt like giving up...sat down and cry. but i just walked on aimlessly ... my mind was totally blank. i couldnt do anything ... reached home. went to shower and started crying in the toilet again. i cant stand this feeling i really cant :(

i asked myself sometimes. i have had a few ex-es. i bumped into them sometimes. guy K wasnt even an official boyfriend/ex. yet, this pain i feel...i can never explain. i have NEVER broke down whenever i bumped into someone i have an agenda with. but with HIM... somehow, i couldnt hold it in...i cant i really cant. i hate this feeling. but when will it ever end? i was fine this week until today...

headache kicking in. im upset :(