cuts you so deep.

i used to make you smile. i used to make you laugh. i used to make you feel proud. i used to make you happy.
but somehow now, i dont think i have done that.
somehow...i have disappoint you along this path. i know i have hurt you. i know from the way you look at me.
you dont have to say. but i know behind those facade, even how much you seem fine with it. i know you are not. i know you are somehow embarassed and ashamed that somehow, suddenly you have nothing good to talk anymore. when everything that comes out are just some mediocre things to say.
i want those moments back. i want those times when u kissed me with those genuine smiles and hugged me.

the reason why i am doing the things im doing, is cause i want those smile of yours back. i want those feeling of achievement cause i made you proud back. i know somehow, i havent been perfect this year. i know somehow, i havent been what i used to be. but i am trying. trying to bring back those happy moments back. the reason to the things i do, is simply cause i want you to hug me close and kiss me again. i want those proud smiles back.

cause somehow, right now... i feel like a total failure in your eyes.
but i cant rewind back life to the point where it was still the same.
maybe this year, you wont hear that news you love so much.
but i promise you...
i would bring that news to you next year. i would.
it hurts me bad to disappoint you. i know i have.

im sorry.