once you leave...please dont come back.

I used to have a best friend. we were just 2 strangers. we got to know through an ex of mine. messaged for a while since he was bored. after a while, i felt strange the way he messages me and the things he said. and one day he asked me to be his bestie...my ex told me to simply agree. since its just besties as long as i dont cross my line.

a few months along... he asked to be his TTM/FWB. it was a straight NO! i was attached at that point of time. it was totally inappropriate! i declined and he got pretty angry and upset. he disappeared. and then came back. when i broke up, no doubt, he was the one who was there for me. but then he disappeared again. and i cant be bothered to say a word. he came back only when things just aint right with his gerlfriend.

we fought one night. screaming on the phone. i dunnoe what that was for??! we were just 2 friends. why get so uptight over a simple matter of ME not picking up his calls or replying his smses? i dunnoe what was going on. but when he threatened me, well that was a big deal. i dunt wanna be friends with someone who just make me feel as though he owns me when we are just friends. he disappeared again. i got attached to someone else. and he got admitted to the hospital. a simple visit caused everything to turn topsy turvy. we became friends again. and somehow...he disappeared again. i got used to us both doing all these disappearing acts on one another.

till one night. i was on the phone with mystery guy. at that point of time, yes i was completely into mystery guy. and suddenly he had to message me in the middle of my call. nicely, i told him i would message him another day. and he got all angry and upset. what rights have he??! he started going on and on about how i dint treasure that friendship. he severed the friendship. i didnt want to have a say at all. i didnt say anything at all. i didnt see any more point to explain myself. i have had enough. enough of everything.

and suddenly after a few days, he told me he actually wanted me to be his gerlfriend. i felt disappointed in him. he totally betrayed my ex. i remembered once... my ex asked him "if i were to break up with sharifah, would u take her as ur gf?" he promised my ex saying "i would never come in between you and her. even after you two breaks up.." promises are meant to be broken i supposed! it was a complete lie.

my answer would be a no even if there wasnt mystery guy..ks or any other guy in my life at that point of time. i never heard any news from him...but i did receive a few calls and smses from him quite recently. and somehow...i feel like those anonymous calls and numbers that appears are from him.
im still living in this constant fear that he would suddenly appear some day and start making havock in my life.

the worse thing to happen...was to bump into him just a few minutes after i got attached. it scares me.
i dunnoe why...but somehow, he scares me. he really does.

i just dont want you to come back..please dont. if you still have my number...and dial it again. please hang up before i pick up. if u plan to send me a message... delete it and dont send. cause i dont want you to come back to my life. im happier now with my boyf ... so please dont come back . somehow i know maybe some day you would come across this and know this is for you.