tears in my eyes all over again )':

i felt so broken yesterday. and today, the conflict got my mind off stuffs.
we managed to solve it..and we wrote reports to mdm lenny about it. so yeahs.
we dont have to be scared, cos we know we didnt do anything totally wrong as compared to the other gerls.

so after school. i was all angree and pissed.
even my babes felt like the gerls do not have the rights to do what they did.
so yeahs. during csp was fun joy and laughter as always :))
took 10 ...
and well..that's when my misery began.
when we were reaching bedok south sec. i felt really uneasy. so uneasy.
i looked down at the bus stop and there he was ...
sitting there with his friend...
right there in front of me. i could feel the pain in my heart all over again.
i tried to create a joke about him. seeing so many gerls i just went to aisyah and said "sooo which one is the gerlfriend?"
but of course, deep down inside i was already crumbling...
i know she knows that. my eyes were already tearing. but she was suddenly filled with energy...
and she started trying to distract me and cudnt stop talking some weird crap.
i couldnt help but laugh...
but there were still tears in my eyes...and i laughed and cried at the same time.

we went to eat at Food Culture. i couldnt help questioning aisyah.
asking her why am i soo stupid and dumb to have fallen for him.
why cant i just move on easily ...
why is it that its wayy harder than zul...

haiz. we went to shop & save to get stuffs. had a guhreat laugh there.
now home. alone. my mood is totally down.
i feel so broken.

call me dumb. call me stupid cos i m willing to forgive the guy that hurts me so bad.
call me pathetic for loving him still after all he have done.
ask me to wake up but how i wish i could remain in my dreams...
where everything seems so perfect.
ask me to get over him... but tell me...
can YOU get over someone you have loved so much so easily ?
if you really love(d) someone, it doesnt matter how they treat you...even if means being some spare tyre...
it doesnt matter how they hurt you...even if it means crying day and night.
it doesnt matter how long it takes for him to be back ... even when u noe he may never be back.
it doesnt matter at all.
when you really do love someone.
and yes, im that gerl who really did love and still is loving khairil shafiq.